


The Rave Scene

by Yoselin



Series: Ride or Die (Choices) [1]
Category: Choices: Ride or Die, Choices: Stories You Play
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 01:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18297359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoselin/pseuds/Yoselin
Summary: Set during Logan’s premium choice in Chapter 10. Logan dwells on the secret he’s hiding from MC.Name used is Kelsie.





	The Rave Scene

She’s glowing in the club lights, neon outfit casting colors everywhere. The outfit Mona lent her fits her well and makes her stand out. Several times already, Logan’s noticed both guys and girls throw her interested looks as she moves to the rhythm. He’s sure he has to hold on to her as they dance lest one of the onlookers try to cut in between them.  
The music pulses in the air and the strobe lights cast a dizzying array of shadows. Hyrieus has an atmosphere about it, something electric and exciting, and Logan has to admit he enjoys coming here. There’s something enticing about a club composed of shapes and shadows. With the roar of the music, the beat of the bass, and the feeling of energy coursing through him, he can really let himself have fun.  
And then, of course, there’s Kelsie.  
Kelsie, the girl who consumes his waking mind and graces every dream. The nerdy little high schooler wearing an old college sweater who crashed into him on the day of the Brent deal. The girl who somehow makes his life shine bright despite the fact that his entire existence has been one disappointment after another.  
Somehow that girl from that high-end, pay-to-play high school has captivated him. He feels like a moth drawn to a flame when in her presence. Logan’s life has never been easy, he’s had his fair share of troubles in pains in the few years he’s haunted this earth, yet he feels like Kelsie is the one good thing fate has given him.  
And somehow that makes everything else feel worse.  
A pit grows in his stomach as she joins him to dance. She’s smiling, face casted in the neon glow of her outfit, and she still has the moves from the sideshow. She claims to not know how to dance, yet her body knows exactly what to do to make him feel excited.  
He remembers their first dance vividly. He had to coach her then, guide her through every step and encourage her to let go and let herself do what felt right, and she seems to have remembered those lessons well. She matches his steps with ease and even adds her own flair.  
The corner of his mouth turns up and he has to shout to be heard over the roar of the music.  
“Just like we practiced back at the sideshow, right?”  
He tugs her close only to step back for half a beat. She mimics his movements falling effortlessly into the rhythm of the music. Her own smile is a breathtaking grin.  
“I’ve still got those moves,” Kelsie replies back. She spins for him, steps into his embrace for half a second, then shuffles away to the music. Logan almost misses her when she’s gone but would never admit that out loud.  
The music becomes a thudding bass that reverberates under their feet. He leads her into a complicated dance rhythm that he picked up somewhere along his life. Kelsie matches it after a few attempts and manages to impress him again with the way she learns quickly. She has a brain on her, a powerful ability to adapt and grow, and she seems intent on proving to the world that she belongs everywhere. She flourishes like a Lily of the Valley, blooming even in the darkest of landscapes.  
Logan wishes he had that same gift. His life has been one torment after another. It would have been nice for him to be able to adapt and survive like Kelsie. If he had a shred of her courage, her inner-light, maybe he wouldn’t be so afraid of losing everything.  
After a few more dances, Kelsie bites her lip. She seems deep in thought, remembering something, and she has to lean in to him in order to be heard over the thudding bass. Her voice is a shout in his ear he can barely hear over the rhythm.  
“Hey, what was it that you wanted to tell me?” She cocks her head to the side in confusion.  
“What do you mean?” Logan tilts his head as well and moves his hips to the music. One hand comes to rest low on Kelsie’s back as he spins them both around.  
Kelsie lets herself be twirled before turning her attention back to him.  
“Before the stadium job. You said you wanted to get something off your chest,” she reminds him.  
A cold pit forms in his stomach at the memory. He had almost broken before the stadium job. The secret he carries is a heavy chain around his neck and he’s been looking for a way to shed it for as long as he can remember. Back before the heist, he had almost come clean then, almost told her the very thing he was sure would destroy whatever it was that was between them, before Colt had interrupted. Logan had never been so relieved in his life to hear the obnoxious tone of Colt’s voice before. His interruption had prevented him from doing something he could never take back.  
“Oh, yeah!” Logan forces out a laugh that sounds natural. He’s had years to practice his acting skills, a lifetime worth of pretending and hiding, and the lie falls effortlessly out of his mouth. “I, uh...can’t remember. Today’s been a blur.”  
He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, increases his pace of dancing, and tugs her closer until there’s hardly any space between them for the Holy Ghost.  
His mind is whirring in different directions, guilt and calculation each tugging him towards different endings, and he bites the inside of his cheek. He should tell her, he knows, she deserves to know the truth. He’s lied far too many times to her already and it would only be worse for him to wait any longer-  
But how can he tell her? Telling her means breaking whatever is forming between them. Telling her means losing her, and Logan’s not sure he can take that. He’s endured so much in life already, but losing Kelsie would somehow make everything worse. In a world so full of darkness and strife, Kelsie is the one thing grounding him and keeping him going. Logan’s not too sure he could entirely survive her leaving unscathed.  
His mental war must show despite his attempts because Kelsie frowns.  
“What’s going on with you tonight?” She clasps his hands in hers and slows down their dancing. Her eyes are searching his face for any clue as to what might be bothering him.  
Logan quickly wipes his face clean of expression. He takes a few moments to decide on what to say. Telling her the truth outright is too much, but maybe he can broach a few parts of the subject slowly.  
“You ever feel like things are...almost perfect, but not quite?”  
He presses his lips thin as Kelsie gives him a bizarre look. His thoughts are difficult to put into words. He’s sure he must sound crazy to her, completely out of his mind, but he doesn’t care. The chain around his neck is too heavy, he needs to let some of the weight off.  
“And you know you should be happy and in the moment, but you can’t stop thinking that something’s wrong?”  
Logan tightens his grip on Kelsie. Having her here, in his arms, should feel perfect. After so many dreams and daydreams, this moment with her so close should be a paradise, but the cold feeling in his stomach hasn’t left him.  
A part of him, the part of him used to looking over his shoulder, wondering about his parents, and vying for Kaneko’s fickle attention won’t let him rest. His instincts are always on edge, always looking for the worst case scenario to get him ready for yet another cross to bear, and that part of him has been going off since Kelsie crashed into him.  
Based on the lie he carries, the true motive that led him to her, and the pain he knows will rain down on her when she uncovers the truth of his actions, Logan knows he’s on borrowed time. This joy, this happiness, is temporary. After all, hasn’t everything else Logan loves been lost?  
“You can’t sweat the small stuff,” Kelsie frowns. She leans forward so that her voice will be heard over the pounding beat. Her tone is soothing, worried, and Logan looks away from her.  
“I didn’t say it was small stuff.”  
His words are barely a whisper and he isn’t quite sure if she heard them. He hopes the music stole them away, yet her hands tighten around his neck all the same.  
“Life will never be perfect, Logan. We have to enjoy here and now.”  
Logan holds her close and studies her face. He wishes he had photographic memory in that moment so he could remember every detail. If he were an artist, he’d paint her and hope the paints could do her justice. If he were a singer, he’d compose a melody and hope the notes could capture her. If he were a poet, he’d write her a sonnet and hope the words could somehow convey just how special she is.  
Yet Logan is none of those things. He’s just a shitty guy born in a prison with no one to call a parent, living between heists, and chasing after the attentions of a man who discarded him the moment his own son came back. He’s nothing special and nothing that could hope to capture Kelsie’s attention.  
He keeps waiting for the day that Kelsie takes his advice and leaves. She had a whole life before him, a bright future carrying her to Langston, and he came and tore all of that away. When she finds out the truth about him, she’ll leave and find someone better.  
Hell, someone like her deserves someone better, and someone like him deserves to be left behind.  
Logan shakes his head and tries to hide the little twinge of agony that pricks at him. He forces out another chuckle and resumes his dance.  
“Hard to disagree with that when I’ve got you in my arms,” he grins.  
Kelsie seems not entirely convinced about his display, yet she opts to move on. Her fingers card through his hair and he leans into her touch. It’s amazing the effect she has on him. A single touch of hers can almost make up for a lifetime of being starved for affection.  
“Stop thinking about it,” Kelsie grins and her mood becomes almost playful, “Better yet, stop thinking all together.”  
She swings her hips and Logan presses her closer. He stares at her lips and feels himself self consciously leaning in.  
“That’s better. Just how I like you,” Kelsie murmurs.  
The smile on Logan’s face becomes genuine. His heart increases its pace.  
“You were incredible today. You know that, right?”  
She’s always incredible, Logan thinks to himself, and he shakes his head. She’s something almost ethereal. She graces his life, gives him a meaning and a reason to get out of bed, and has an effect on him that he’s never felt before. Whenever she’s close, Logan feels lucky. Life has given him a very shitty hand, yet he is sure Kelsie is the Ace up his sleeve. She alone has the power to make him smile and make him feel something he was sure was made up.  
“I do now,” Kelsie laughs.  
It’s a nice sound, a beautiful one, and Logan resists the urge to ask her for it again.  
“Somehow, you surprise me more everyday.”  
He doesn’t mean for her to hear that part, it was meant for his thoughts alone, yet he knows she has. A blush spreads across her face and she moves forward.  
They crash together and Logan can hardly breathe. Kissing Kelsie is like nothing he’s ever experienced before. She’s everything he could have ever dreamed of and nothing he could have ever deserved. He kisses her as if he couldn’t breathe without her, would die if she disappeared, and maybe that’s not too far from the truth.  
They kiss until the need for air draws them apart. Logan presses his forehead to hers to make up for the lack of contact. His heart is a hummingbird in his chest and a giddy feeling is spreading through him. A warmth fills him, something foreign and beautiful, and he closes his eyes.  
“This can’t be right,” he murmurs to himself, “I’m not this lucky in life.”  
He almost shakes as he admits this to himself. Something has to have gone wrong, a mistake from a higher power, because there’s no way someone like him has ever earned someone like her.  
Life has always been hard on him, cruel, and he can’t believe it’s now giving him something so wonderful. He’s done nothing to deserve it and everything to lose it. He keeps waiting for the day where it all goes away. Like a mirage, it’ll all disappear someday and he’ll be left behind like everything else.  
The thought terrifies him more than anything.  
Kelsie presses a hand to his cheek, eyes sincere, and leans forward.  
“You deserve everything you want, Logan,” she reprimands. She seems to mean it too, nothing but honesty in her gaze, but Logan isn’t so sure.  
He doesn’t deserve her. After everything he’s done, everything he’s put her through, and everything he’s lied about, he certainly doesn’t deserve the blessing that she is.  
And, damn it all, that’s all he wants in life. He would willingly give up everything if it meant keeping her. She’s worth more than anything he could ever hope to steal from life. If he were to just have her, he’d be satisfied forever.  
“All I want right now is you,” he admits.  
He pulls her close and closes his eyes. His heart is still racing in his chest, faster than his car could ever hope to go, and he wills himself to breathe.  
Kelsie wraps her arms around him and leans into his embrace. It takes them a very long time to find the strength to separate. The moment they do, Logan misses her all over again.  
He hovers near her like a shadow, intent on being by her side all night, and looks for every excuse to touch her. Perhaps if he keeps his hand on her she won’t disappear. He keeps waiting for the moment the mirage is over and she fades away like smoke. He’s terrified of that possibility.  
Kelsie picks up on this fear, as perceptive as she is, and smiles.  
“I’m not going anywhere,” she reassures with a small smile. She gives him a light shove towards Toby and Ximena and the others willing him to join them in dancing and enjoy the night, “Have fun!”  
It takes another small shove for Logan to be willing to peel himself from her side. A part of him still doesn’t want to go, still too terrified of losing her, yet he lets himself be carted away.  
He makes it a few paces towards the others before turning back around to make sure Kelsie is still in the same place. Perhaps a part of him expected her to be gone the moment he looked away.  
“I’ll try,” he murmurs.  
Kelsie grins and seems to silently reassure him that she won’t be going anywhere. Logan gives her a wave and takes a spot between Toby and Mona. A new song is picking up and the rhythm begs him to dance.  
Despite himself, he looks over his shoulder one more time to make sure Kelsie is still there, and she is, before he truly lets himself be lost in the music.  
She says she will never go away, will always be there for him, yet he is afraid she is wrong. Life has taken everything else from him, why wouldn’t she be any different? Besides, after all the lying and betraying, does he really believe he deserves her?  
The cold pit in his stomach only grows. Logan bites the inside of his cheek hard and feigns feeling lively next to the crew.  
It’s almost ironic in a way, he realizes.  
The one thing he wants more than anything else in the world, is the one thing he will never in Hell deserve.


End file.
